Lelouch and Suzaku's Adventures
by adayday2
Summary: In Conversation form. Have an inside look into the conversations Suzaku and Lelouch have when they take on some of the most dangerous adventures ever.  Okay, maybe not dangerous, but for Lelouch, definitely unbearable.
1. Chapter 1

Hi! Welcome to Suzaku and Lelouch's Adventures! In each chapter you'll get to see the conversations Suzaku and Lelouch have when they have their own little adventures in life. When in the world would some of this stuff happen in CG? I don't know, let your imaginative mind make up your own explanation, I think it's more fun that way XD

Now I present, the first chapter!

S: I'm entering the store. No signs of suspicious activity. Proceeding with caution.

L: Suzaku what the hell are you doing?

S: Sh! Don't speak so loudly! They'll hear you!

L: Who's 'they'?

S: *points to security camera*

L: ...

S: Understand?

L: No, not at all.

S: Figures.

L: Hey!

S: Hurry, let's get away from this area. I don't need beer anyway.

L: Aw, but I was hoping later tonight we coul-

S: No Lelouch! Drinking under the age of 21 is illegal!

L: ...Fine...(Mental note: Change drinking age once I defeat Britannia.)

S: Now, I need to find the vegetables...

L: What? Why the hell would you go looking for that crap?

S: Crap? Lelouch, vegetables are a vital part of the daily food pyramid. Didn't you pay attention in health class?

L: No, I was probably thinking of strategic battle strategies to take over the Britanian Army.

S: WHAT?

L: I love vegetables!

S: Good! Let's go get some!

L: Okay! (Thank God he's an idiot.)

S: Hmm. I can't seem to make up my mind.

L: What's up?

S: Do I get five pounds of spinach, or six? Or maybe seven?

L: Geez how much green stuff do you need?

S: I eat at least a pound a day.

L: And why do you eat that disgusting stuff?

S: I need to stay in the best physical state 24/7!

L: Yay.

S: So, is seven pounds okay?

L: Do I look like a care?

S: Nope.

L: Glad we understand my position.

S: Now, I need to find tomatoes..

L: And I'll be right back.

S: Okay.

...

L: Whtsup

S: Lelouch!

L: Yah?

S: What are you eating?

L: Gee don frea ou.

S: Would you please swallow for God's sake?

L: Ah, well since you said God, no. Ha just kidding. Uh, what was your question again?

S: I asked, what the hell are you eating?

L: Potato chips, stupid. Can't you tell?

S: So many calories so many calories so many calories SO MANY CALORIES!

L: Woah, calm do-

S: So much fat so much fat so much fat SO MUCH FAT!

L: Suzaku would you ju-

S: Cholesterol cholesterol cholesterol CHOLESTEROL!

L: I just give up on y-

S: Carbs carbs carbs CARBS!

L: SUZAKU!

S: Yes?

L: Stop freaking out!

S: But, you're...you're...

L: I'm?

S: Eating potato chips!

...

L: And?

S: Do you know how unhealthy chips are?

L: ...But the label says 50% less trans fat than the leading brand...

S: It does?

L: *scribble scribble scribble* It does now!

S: You wrote that on the bag just now.

L: Nooo...

S: *sigh* You know Lelouch, if you keep eating so much junk food its gonna bite you in the ass when you're older. You'll have high cholesterol, possibly diabetes, and not to mention a whole ton of fa-

L: Yeah I'm gonna go find the candy aisle.

S: Lelouch!

L: Yeah?

S: Did you not just listen to what I said?

L: Yes...no? Wait, what?

S: See! The fat is seeping into your brain cells and making you talk nonsense! Nonsense I tell you!

L: Oi, would you shut up and go get some carrots or something?

S: Already did.

L: Oh well what about broccoli?

S: In the cart.

L: Tomatoes?

S: Got it.

L: Green beans?

S: Yup.

L: ...Cauliflower?

S: Hai.

L: I HATE CAULIFLOWER.

S: Hey stop yelling! You're embarrassing me.

L: You think I'M embarrassing? You just spent the past five minutes lecturing me about not eating junk food!

S: Soo? It was for a good chance for an intervention!

L: What? I don't need an intervention, dammit! Ugh, you piss me off!

S: I could say the same! How dare you not like vegetables!

L: Oh yeah, cuz everyone just LOVES vegetables. Please.

S: Of course they do! Right?

Radom shoppers: ...Uuuhhh...

L: See? Now shut up and eat this.

S: MMHHHMM!

L: Heh.

S: Pffh! HOW COULD YOU?

L: Lelouch 1. Suzaku 0.

S: Not funny Lelouch! Don't you ever make me eat potato chips again!

L: Even if I told you Euphemia loves potato chips and all junk food known to man?

S: ...

L: It's true, ask her yourself.

S: ...My heart is torn now.

L: It's okay. I feel your pain. (Kallen or C.C.? Red or Green? Sushi or Pizza?)

S: What should I do?

L: Looks like you'll have to pick. Vegetables or Euphemia?

S: Umm...

L: Well actually it doesn't matter cuz in episode 22 Euphemia dies.

S: WHAT?

L: Huh? Did you say you wanted celery?

S: No, but could you get me some?

L: Sure.

...

L: So, did you make up your mind yet?

S: Yes I have.

L: And?

S: I choose both.

L: Heh? (No! My plan is ruined!) *crumbles up paper with "First Date with Suzaku" itinerary*

S: I'd never give up Euphemia for vegetables, and just because she eats junk food doesn't mean she's unhealthy and doesn't eat a balanced diet.

L: So why the hell did you freak out when I came over eating a bag of chips?

S: Oh come on Lelouch. You and I both know that really is all you eat.

L: ...Lies...

S: Nice try buddy but it's not gonna work on me.

L: Shit.

S: Some girl at school told me you eat a lot of pizza too.

L: What? What did she look like?

S: She had really green hair.

L: Damn! That witch...

S: Did you just call her a witch?

L: No I said a bitch.

S: Oh okay...but you know, she did look like that girl we found in the stolen Britannian truck a while ago...

L: (Crap! Not good! Why does he choose now of all times to be intelligent?)

S: And she looked exactly like h-

L: Hey! Suzaku! Guess what I'm gonna do when I get home?

S: What?

L: I'm gonna take a chip...a whole lot of chips...AND EAT THEM!

S: NOOO!

L: I'll solve equations with my right hand, and write people's names down with my left!

S: NO! Wait, huh?

L: I WILL BECOME THE GOD OF A NEW WORLD!

S: Okay, Lelouch I think the fat has gotten to y-

L: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

S: Are you okay?

L: WANT SOME APPLES?

S: Sure!


	2. Ordering Take Out

Here's another Lelouch and Suzaku adventure! This time, Lelouch and Suzaku ran out of their groceries and are forced to order take out. Let's see what will happen this time...(and as always this progresses and ends in a totally random way).

S: Lelouch can you grab me the container with the take out menus?

L: I don't know, can I?

S: Ugh, may you?

L: It involves moving right, physical movement?

S: Well, yes of course.

L: Then, NO.

S: You're so lazy Lelouch. If I had some vegetables right now I'd shove them right down your face.

L: No! Please no! Not again! That was pure torture. *shiver*

S: Glad we've come to an understanding. Now, get me the box.

L: Fine...

S: Thanks. Okay, we can get Italian, American, Japanese...

L: Okay wait, we're in Japan right?

S: Yeah...

L: So shouldn't Japanese food just be called, I don't know, food?

S: ...

L: ...

S: Eh?

L: You worry me.

S: Anyway, what should we get?

L: I don't know, do you want Italian, American, or just FOOD?

S: Wait what's the just food one?

L: Hopeless.

S: Huh?

L: Ugh...I guess Italian's fine.

S: Okay!

...

S: Uh Lelouch?

L: Yeah?

S: Do you read Italian?

L: Last time I checked, no.

S: Do you know anyone who can read Italian.

L: Last time I checked, no.

S: Great, cuz this menu's all in Italian.

L: What?

S: Yeah.

L: That's so stupid! We're in freaking Japan! Do they expect us to read Italian like we do it everyday?

S: Apparently.

L: Idiots. Well, here lemme see I think I might be able to make sense of some of it.

S: Okay.

L: Uh Suzaku you don't have to hold the menu with me, it's okay.

S: Oh I just don't want you getting a paper cut.

L: Do you think I'm that weak?

S: Honestly, yes.

L: Douche.

...

L: Okay, so this says pastas, this says salads, I think this one says chicken...

S: Hm, well I could go for anything.

L: I think I'm in the mood for some pasta.

S: Well we could get like a bunch of food and share it if you want.

L: Like, share, share? (Indirect kissing share? HELL YES)

S: What other kind of share is there?

L: Like a business share.

S: Lelouch sometimes I wish you were stupid, ya know? Like me.

L: If that ever happens please kill me.

S: Sure thing.

L: I love how you don't hesitate at all.

S: XD

...

S: Okay so I'm thinking one spaghetti and meatballs, one caesar salad, and one chicken parmesan. Sound good?

L: Yup.

S: Good, I'll place in the order now.

...

S: Just placed it in, thank god the girl who answered didn't speak to me in Japanese.

L: Yeah cuz we all know how troublesome that would've been.

S: Hey!

L: Hello to you too my friend.

S: Why do you always verbally abuse me?

L: What else do you expect me to do while I'm not trying to overthrow Britannia?

S: WHAT?

L: Oh, doorbell's ringing!

S: Yay food!

...

K: Hi, here's your food.

L: Kallen? What the fu-

S: Kallen! So good to see you!

K: You guys? What the hell?

L: What, can we not order Italian food when SOMEONE forgets to go food shopping?

S: Lelouch we are not having this conversation again.

L: I just want you to know that the reason we have to do this is because YOU were too preoccupied on your workout schedule to forget to squeeze in time to go grocery shopping.

S: Well, I didn't know that I was responsible for everything! I see how it is now, Lelouch!

K: Are you guys a couple or something?

...

L: WHAT?

S: Yes!

K and L: HUH?

S: We're a couple... of good friends! Duh!

K: ...Uhh, okay.

L: Please ignore him. He hasn't had his servings of spinach yet, his brain is that of a three year old.

S: It is not!

L: Don't make me count to three!

S: But Lelo-

L: 3...

S: This is so not fa-

L: 2...

S: ...Fine.

L: Good boy. Extra serving of desert for you tonight.

S: YAY! Then, can we watch Sailor Moon together?

L: Sure, why not. Kallen, care to join us?

K: Um, I'm just, gonna go.

L: Okay. Oh here's the money.

K: No, it's cool I got this, just, just close the door, like now.

S: OKAY!

*SLAM*

K: YOU BASTARD NOT WHEN MY FACE IS STILL IN THE DOORWAY!

S: Sorry Kallen!

L: Do really mean that?

S: Nope.

L: Glad we agree on at least one thing.

S: What's that?

L: We both find Kallen a useless, annoying girl, correct?

S: Amen Lelouch, amen.


	3. Let's Exercise!

Oh my god. You will never believe what today's adventure is. Suzaku has finally crossed the line. He's finally done what no one was able to do before.  
Suzaku has signed up Lelouch to L.A. Fitness.  
The best part about this?  
Lelouch has no idea.  
**(A/N: I suggest you read 'Wardrobe 101 in my Lelouch and Kallen Conversation's story to understand a part of this chapter!)**

L: Suzaku where the hell are you taking me?

S: Sh, we're almost there!

L: Is this blindfold really necessary?

S: Yes!

L: And the ear plugs?

S: Of course!

L: And binding my wrists together?

S: You bettcha!

L: You know, if I didn't know any better I'd think this was...you know...

S: What?

L: You're really this stupid? I mean I can understand the last two chapters, but really?

S: Huh?

L: Never mind.

S: Oo look we're here!

L: Great! You wanna untie me?

S: No!

L: Bastard.

S: Okay I'll come around and open your door and then I'll show you the surprise!

L: Great, can't wait.

...

S: Alright, now open your eyes!

...

L: ...Oh my god...

S: Isn't it just beautiful! *tear*

L: ...

S: I understand Lelouch. You're speechless!

L: ...

S: Take in this moment, cherish it forever!

L: ...Hey, Suzaku?

S: Yes, Lelouch?

L: WHY THE HELL ARE WE IN FRONT OF LA FITNESS?

S: Duh, to get fit! And you say I'm the dumb one. Silly Lulu.

L: Okay, two things. One, you are and forever will be the dumb one. That's a forever fact that will last for the entire series, trust me. And two, never, never, call me Lulu again.

S: Aw, but it's cute!

L: That was wrong on so many levels.

S: Anyway, come on let's go in!

L: Oh no, there is no way I'm walking through those doors. Uh-uh.

S: It's okay, I already got you a membership!

L: YOU DID WHAT?

S: I know right? I'm just awesome like that.

L: Really? Cuz those aren't really the feelings I'm having about you right now.

S: Admiration? Loyalty? Undying love.

L: Ha, you wish.

S: Eh?

L: There is no way in hell am I going inside that...that...torture chamber.

S: Torture chamber? Geez your mind's pretty missed up huh?

L: You don't even know the half of it.

S: Well if I told you Kallen was in there working out for two hours in a really tight work out suit, would you go in?

L: ...

S: She's really shinnnyyy! :D

L: ...Fine...

S: Yay!

...

S: Ah breathe that in Lelouch. Isn't it such a wonderful smell?

L: Oh yeah. Sweat, rubber, and more sweat? Put it in a bottle slap on a sticker that says 'Sweat' and sell it at Macy's.

S: Good idea! Is that what you want to do for a living Lelouch?

L: Oh yeah, that and taking over Britannia.

S: WHAT?

L: Look, treadmills.

S: Ooo! We should try those out first? Ready Lelouch?

L: No.

S: Great!

...

L: Suzaku...I can't...take it...anymore.

S: Lelouch, you can do it1

L: I feel...like...I'm...gonna...die...

S: Come on, buddy! Push through! Persevere! Fight!

L: ...Can't...go on...

S: Lelouch, no!

L: Suzaku...just...go on...without me...

S: No! I won't leave you behind!

L: Tell...tell Kallen...

S: Yes? Tell her what?

L: Tell her...to follow...the four b's... **(LKC reference) **

S: Okay! Okay, I will! But Lelouch?

L: ...Yes, my old friend?

S: You know I can just stop the treadmill and you can take a break, right?

L: ...Oh.

S: There, now it's stopped.

L: Do me a favor and forget what I just said before.

S: What?

L: Thank god you're an idiot.

S: Now, let's see the results of your five minute walk.

L: Just five minutes? And I walked?

S: Yeah, didn't you notice?

L: It felt like hours! And I was definitely sprinting!

S: No...it says here you walked for 5 minutes and 32 seconds and at a speed of 1.5 miles an hour. And just by the way that's pretty slow. Really slow, actually.

L: No way.

S: Way.

L: Impossible! Do you see how sweaty I am?

S: Not only that but I can smell it too. You should really think more about that perfume business.

L: You know what I've learned from this Suzaku?

S: Yeah?

L: You seem to be even more stupid when you're around exercise equipment, which really shouldn't have been that hard to figure out. I bet you get all high and happy when you see all this stuff, don't you?

S: Ah, you got that right.

L: Figured as much.

S: What do you want to do now?

L: Go home.

S: But Lelouch you've only worked out for five minutes! How about we do some weight lifting?

L: Do we have to?

S: Yes.

L: Really?

S: Yes.

L: Ugh.

S: No buts.

L: But I-

S: Hey, what did I just say mister?

L: *mumbles* No buts.

S: That's right. Now follow me and try not to get lost.

L: Yes, dad.

S: :D

L: -_-

...

L: Ugh...8...9...10! I did it!

S: Good job! How many pounds was that one?

L: Two!

S: Really Lelouch? Just two pounds?

L: Do you have any idea how heavy this is?

S: Yes I do, cuz when I was five that's what I used to lift. Nowadays I got for 150, or 200 if it's a good day.

L: Are you insane?

S: Funny, that's what everyone thinks. Weird...

L: I think you're the weird one my friend.

S: Nonsense Lulu, nonsense.

L: Suzaku what did I say about the nicknames?

S: Only call you them in bed?

L: No! Well, only if you want to-

S: Oh look its Kallen!

L: Hey you said we'd see her when I walked through the door!

S: Ha whoops.

L: You lying little boy.

S: Hey I'm not little! I'm a very big boy thank you very much! A big boy with big boy body parts!

K: Um, do I wanna know what you guys were just talking about?

L: Must you be such a pervert Kallen? My god, will you please act like a lady?

K: *punch*

S: Hey Kallen! What's up?

K: Nothing much, just heading out. Spent a good five hours working out today, I need some well deserved rest.

S: Way to go!

K: Now, what the hell is he doing here?

L: Believe it or not, I am now a member of this terrible facility of exercise torture.

K: No way.

L: Way.

K: How'd you pull this one off, Suzaku?

S: Oh you know, the usual. Blindfolds, ear plugs, wrist binding.

K: Ehh...

L: Trust me it's not what you think.

K: You sure? Cuz I really wouldn't be that surprised.

L: Really? Well in that case...

S: Hey guys, guess what!

L: What?

K: What's up?

S: We're locked in!

K: WHAT?

L: NOO!

S: Yeah, today's national pie day so the gym closed early.

L: Why the hell would the gym close for national pie day?

S: Don't dis the pie Lelouch. Don't dis the pie.

K: I'm not 'dissing' the pie or anything but seriously why would they close?

S: The pie is sacred! Sacred I tell you!

L: Okay this is really off topic. Why don't we just leave and get outta her-

S: No! We are not leaving until you and Kallen see the awesomeness that is pie!

K: I like pie and all, but do you know how many calories are in one slice?

L: Yea and all that sugar too.

K: Not to mention carbs from the crust.

L: Ah true and if you have a crumbly topping-

S: ENOUGH!

...

S: Everything is good in moderation, junk food and sweets is okay as long as you don't pig out on it.

L: Then why the hell did you freak out when I was eating potato chips that one time.

S: Oh that's a simple answer.

L: And that is?

S: I just love messing with you!

K: Ha, funny.

L: ...

S: Heh, catcha later Kallen!

L: SUZAKUUUU!

* * *

hope you liked it! and please if you haven't already check out my LELOUCH AND KALLEN CONVERSATIONS story!


End file.
